Rants

I started dating a girl who will remain nameless. I had a bad vibe from her when i first met her but i always believed in giving people a chance. Giving her a chance was the biggest mistake in my frigen fracken blacked life. I hate how she smokes, drinks and hangs out with her ex boyfriends. I know I'm being over controlling and wanting alot from her but I don't believe it is right when shes like a guy for years and he cheats on her gets married and has a baby while dating her. I believe that everything this guy does is wrong and i start to feel like I'm just a rebound guy for her just because she lost the spark with a loser, but the problem now is that she misses the dick head and wants to go spend time with him alone and hide him from me so i don't know. One thing that was worse then her doing that with this one loser is that when she went to Calgary to visit her mom, dad and brother but when she got there she decided to spend all her money she saved to go drinking with 7 of her ex boy friends and all of them didn't let there girl friends drink with them accept 2. I never want to know what happen there but the day i find out that shes doing anything overly bad she will hate me for the rest of her damn life.

Poetic Trueth Compared to Novel Candy

This is tragically a true tale. This poor girl was sold into prostitution at a very young age, illegally "imported" into Australia, and forced to work as a prostitute in an illegal brothel. After 15 years or so, and now a heroin addict, she was arrested as an illegal immigrant and detained. She was forced to go cold turkey in the detention centre and after vomiting continuously, died from dehydration three days later. A story from the 18th century? No, Australia in 2003. Unbelievable.

Puanhthong Simaplee

Sometimes when I'm having a bad day,
I let stupid things get to me,
I worry about this, I worry about that,
I worry so magnificently.

Then I feel sorry for myself
and think, sheesh, it shouldn't be this hard,
I wonder why I get so darn tired
and at the end of the day, why I'm so battle scarred.

Then like some screeching train,
my misery comes to a shuddering halt
and your face stares at me from the paper,
the realisation is like a thunderbolt.

Your story, tragically, is not unique,
there's many more still living your pain,
the enforcers turn one more blind eye,
then it just happens again and again.

You were callously sold into prostitution,
you couldn't remember whether you were ten or eleven
and were brought to the great shores of Australia,
there, you were given your own slice of heaven.

But no gilded cloud for you my girl,
just a spunk stained mattress on the floor,
where foul breathed bastards had their way,
they didn't care, you were just their whore.

So from ten years of age (maybe it was eleven),
you learned to cope with and suffer your plight
and of course they gave you an ounce of heroin,
with it, you lost your last ounce of fight.

What a sad and tortured existence,
you must have been surrounded by so many blind eyes
and of course that blindness was paid for,
although this should come as no surprise.

Because this is supposed to be the land of the free,
but not for you, my poor wretched Simaplee,
you paid your way with your very soul
and for that, you have my undying sympathy.

I hope your captors rot in Hell
and have a long and lingering decline,
I hope, they too get rooted by pigs,
because after all, they are simply swine.

You were twenty seven and 31 kg when you died
and your last three days were hell on earth,
I think you've proven to this country,
just how little one life is worth.

So I hope you're really happy now
and have finally found your slice,
and when you get to return to this earth,
I hope you get a fairer shake of the dice.

I pray that those blind eyes learn to see again,
I guess that's what this tale is all about,
but I'm sorry, Simaplee, I think this is wishful thinking,
because you have my sympathy and all I have is doubt.

Copyright Allen Jesson :) 2003


This poem is not only sad for being a true story in itself, as well as being so closely related to the novel candy it has alot of exact similarities. In the verse,

You were callously sold into prostitution,
you couldn't remember whether you were ten or eleven
and were brought to the great shores of Australia,
there, you were given your own slice of heaven

, it relates to candy being pulled into prostitution with iggy dragging her in threw small promises and simple pleasures of love and exception that she required while not seeing what was really happening. The girl in this poem may have known but the beauty of where she was would hide her feelings briefly and must have sent her on a emotional train wreck.

Another relation between the sad poem and the novel "candy" is in the verse's,

Because this is supposed to be the land of the free,
but not for you, my poor wretched Simaplee,
you paid your way with your very soul
and for that, you have my undying sympathy.

,this tells how candy was low and brittle that she was force to go against what she wanted to do and as time passed she had lost herself. Candy had paid with her soul since when ever she had been force to talk to iggy she had been formed into a ghost in fear with no sense of self control or will to fight. The way the verse is written it is as if Joe himself is writing it to candy in pain. I could not imagine the pain and humiliation this child had gone threw in her last 4 or 5 years of life. Being out of control and taken away from the need every one has to have love it self. Being a child she would never be able to survive on her own with no one to protect her may she truely get a better chance next time.

Poetic Trueth Compared to Novel andy

Candy

"Either treat me like a kid or treat me like an adult, but don't keep treating me like something in between." Every teens thoughts against there friends and family. Every one has the need to get out and explore the world on there own. When they make a mistake or try and have some fun the ways they use to and something goes wrong, it always shows up against themselves.

Growing up i was the third and last child in the family, so i wasn't getting as much attention as the first two. I remember trying to do thing to get my parents attention, respect and try to get some attention. I remember that my sister had always gotten her way so i tried copying her to make myself more mature, so one time she crossed the high way by herself and i saw her walking across. I wanted to be the same so i remember getting to the road and taking the first steps before loosing memories. I had awaken in the hospital with my mom and dad in the room making sure i was OK. Years later i had been doing some stupid things on a quad and ended up rolling the machine over top of me and off. my father had came up pushed me down to the ground angrily but steady. I had a attitude because of the pain and he was making it worse for where he was pushing it. I ended up being fine but that night we had a talk about the car accident years before.
He told me that if i wasn't so unwilling to think things threw he wouldn't have to waist his time looking me over for wounds. He did so much that made me feel so unwanted but i don't know if that what he wanted or if he wanted me to just grow up faster by making me feel bad. Thinking about how i wanted to be treated like an adult and did everything to become one i missed out on being a child. I believe that we should watch are selves but we shouldn't loose control of what we should and shouldn't be able to do for fun.

Review

To all the guys out there Battle Field 2142 is a game to own and rule in. Taking you on a journey into the futures wars showing that its not just the press of a button to end everything but great new toys to play with. Being set in a coming ice age you are recruited to be a soldier for Russia or Europe. The game is a all around great time at any time of day to play. All specialties are needed to obtain the land that's left over. If you are the one who is trigger happy then don't shy, pull out your knife and be the sneak that your girl friends mother warned her about. Battle field 2142 brings a new view on how wars could be as well as how are technology is expanding at a great rate. You will be playing for weeks trying to get all the medals that are available. I enjoy the battle especially if your on my cross hairs.

Lottery - Indifference

Tittle change.


The Damage of lack of change one way or the other.

A "Lottery" experience.

Most people experience a time when they think everything is fine possibly perfect when its not. Take relationships for examples. In relationships u could think you are with the right person, the one that makes you happy. Going threw life easily and interested in everything that's around you. Then one day everything comes crashing down from a conflict with the mate. Conflicts come from anything they cheat, you cheat, fights with family. Lost of trust with each other happens but you figure you will just break it off and that would be the end. Next thing that happens they are taking you to court, claims of rape, beating or just to try and steal your money. The world around you comes crashing down only Because u tried to love the wrong person. All your left thinking is it isn't fair.

The link between "The Lottery" and "The Perils of Indifference".

All the cities and towns in "The lottery" did the lottery so it wasn't different in any of the towns. Every location were this was held, every one acted the same as the other. when it started everyone gathered rocks and waited to be called to take there slip. Each person went up and took a ticket there expression never changed. The climate didn't matter, and the time of day didn't matter. These people didn't really care about anything other then to get there ticket, they didn't even know all the rules to what was to happen. All they remembered was take a ticket, and stone the one who gets the dot. The main connection to the two stories was that it was indifferent to who got the dot. The children and husband of the mother who got stoned had no effect in them, they killed her as if she was nothing to them. No motive and no threat, just a big game of Russian roulette.

Troubles In Learning

Being a child you dont know too much about the world. Your innocent, young and unknowing, as you grow up you will learn about the problems of the world. Starting small then getting bigger as you get older.
Do you have to deal with all the problems when you are taught about them? I believe that one person does not have to deal with the problem right away, but over time you would have to deal with a form of it. Life would have to be compatible with the problem in order to go on thew it. You would not have to fix the problem completely, most problems are too big to even try and fix. All problems when learned about deserve to be thought about thorally.

Random

This feeling is like no other. The rush it gives me as well as the depression. I'm that close to being on my own, starting my own life, but that close to being able to turn to no one for guidance.

In my own world i am a journey man learning the skills of control, self control and control of daily events. Looking back on my life i see that i haven't grown up that much. I'm the same as i was before just in a bigger body still learning how to do the same old things. I keep asking does life really change at all. If u move to a new location does anything really change, you still have the people u like and the people that u don't as well , as people with power and people u have power over. Everything may look different but is that all it is; is it only a different look but the same thing.

Sitting here in my room is a curse to me. It's not easy being a guy with deep thoughts when every one thinks guys are pointless at that sort of thing. I ponder about what could have been in the past and what maybe in the future. I end up fearing the future alot because i know that it cant be possible to be easier then the past. The feeling of not having the control to face life head on in all sorts of ways. All i know is the best way to beat life is to make alliances, these people are my friends and i don't know who i would be if i didn't have them.

A flaw is neccessary for true beauty.

True beauty is made up of outer appearance as well as personality. I believe that a flaw has to be necessary for true beauty. Every person has flaws in their own way. Some people believe that when they look in the mirror they are anything but beauty, but in another persons eyes they are anything but the opposite. Theses minor flaws make us able to be the most beautiful thing to that one person that is declared are “soul mate”. I believe that if people didn’t have a flaw then every one would consider them beautiful and obtain such control over there fellow citizens. When some on is completely beautiful then u have to take that extra step to get to know them or u put yourself in major danger of being trapped in a unwanted relationship.

Blog Topic's

Writing or typing for me is a real challenge in keeping my interests on the topic i am writing on. I am not really confident in what my interests are in typing or writing. I don’t mind the topics of suffering in a general way such as war, family problems, relationship problems or even things disateres to another person such as the loss of a life or loss of ones own self control. The reasons of why I tend to enjoy the topic of suffering is because no matter what is being written down the reader can always relate, because there is so many issues in peoples lives in the world today. Suffering is always a topic that brings up old emotions and sometimes new ones, that is important to some people in bringing back there past into existence. No matter the disaster there will always be other people waiting for some one to relate to. Writing about suffering is a way to communicate with all others with similar problems and help them threw there hard life. That is why I enjoy reading and writing about suffering.

I believe that all blog’s should be evaluated individually. This will give the writer a chance to improve in there blog's as well as in there writing.

Superpower of My Choice

Superpowers all have there strength and weaknesses but if i had to choose one power to have I would chose the power to control elements of the earth. I would be able to control water and all forms of dirt. I would be able to have the clean es skin in the world, since i would be able to take all dirt off of me. I could walk across water forming it into ice all the way down to the bottom of the lake, or stop a bullet with a protective stone shield around me. I could do chemical compounds to make efficient fuels even take the pollution from the air we breath and recreate fossil fuels. With only the power to control of elements i would be able to have the power of god alone. I just wouldn't have the knowledge and the mental control that god had himself.